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| Have I told you lately that I love you? (Have I told you lately
that I care?) (Valentine's thoughts...) |
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 alentine’s Day,
many people toast and celebrate love! Restaurants are busy, stores sell tons of chocolates and millions of love
cards but… that is not the real stuff love is made of!! It’s about feeling love, being in love and sharing love. Love is simple yet powerful but if it is to
be durable, it needs to be nurtured on a daily basis. We often associate Valentine’s Day with lovers but it encompasses
everyone, from your lover, your spouse to your children, parents, extended family, friends and professionals that
provide quality care or services to people who have touched your life in a special way. Teachers, for example,
are the ones who receive the most valentines!I read a lovely passage from Petites douceurs pour le coeur. The quote seemed to be from Mother Teresa. It says that one must not imagine that in order to be real, love must be spectacular. What love needs is durability. In order to last, love must be true and true love needs to constantly reaffirm itself. The lovely analogy of the oil lamp with its light shining bright because of the constant flow of tiny drops of oil that feed it really spoke of lasting love as I see it. When a lamp dries out, the flame sputters and the light dies. Similarly in a relationship, if love isn’t sustained, one partner will say: “You are not the one I once loved. I don’t know you anymore.”  And what are those daily drops of oil that sustain love? Communication is certainly an important one. “Expressing your feelings in an open and nonjudgmental environment leads to bonding and a heightened sense of intimacy, a connection with the other.” says Dr. Faizal H Sahukhan, a registered professional counselor, author and director of the Canadian Professional Counselors Association. “Effective communication solidifies a relationship. Holding emotions in requires an ongoing effort that drains us mentally and socially.” I cannot agree more. I need to express my feelings and be understood; I need others to reciprocate and tell me their true feelings. In a love relationship, if the other cannot say “I love you!” and mean it, I clam up and end up saying, “Hell no! That’s not for me! What am I doing?” If someone’s first love models were bad, there is no reason to repeat them. Dispose of pent-up, toxic feelings and steer clear of resentment. Open the door and trust that you can create a safe haven where there is joie de vivre, happiness, kind and encouraging words, caring gestures like smiling, holding hands, hugging and kissing, helping out. These things should be as much a part of your daily routine as washing, dressing and eating. “To appreciate life, share it with others.” (Austri Basinillo)  And that doesn’t mean giving up who you are or giving up your space. A loving relationship thrives when there is enough space and generosity for each person (your partner or your children) to maneuver, thrive and grow. Just as an animal cannot survive for long in a trap, neither can a human being endure a suffocating relationship. We all need to breathe. I will go with the song: “Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love!” In my quest for love, Don and I have reconnected after more than a year of being apart. We were amazed by the intensity of our feelings as if time had stood still and nothing had been lost. All things are possible and we’ll see where this takes us! Alberte Villeneuve-Sinclair is the author of The Neglected Garden and two French novels. Visit her website to learn more www.albertevilleneuve.ca. Back to top |
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| Artists sharing their passion Animal wisdom and children - Parc Oméga, Montebello International Women’s Day at Place Sarsfield How would you rate your smile? Art & Nature: the perfect combo I’m finally ready… to talk about ALZHEIMER’S Tea, Coffee and me Happy New Year... Life is a journey A dream come true for Christmas Finding time! It’s still a challenge Bah Humbug! Watch out for Christmas indigestion! |
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| Artists sharing their
passion (Art lovers meet monthly to share and enjoy...) |
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 sing
to life, to its beauty, to each of its wounds and each of its caresses.”Andrea Bocelli To find your voice, dance to your own tune, to tap into your inner strength, share it and make a statement that matters, to have faith in one’s abilities… Each month, art lovers meet at the First Unitarian Congregation of Ottawa’s church on Cleary Avenue to share and discuss with artists from the worlds of literature, music and visual arts. As you may recall, I was invited to Arts Night as the literary guest last February, along with Angela Verlaeckt Clark, a local sculptor and Lori Lynn Penny, a musician and teacher. Arts Night, which takes place at 7:30 p.m. on the last Friday of each month, eight months a year, offers a unique opportunity to discover local talents. Joycelyn Loeffelholz, who makes these wonderful events possible, opens each evening by inviting interested members of the audience to make a five-minute musical or literary presentation before the guest presentations. This month, Friday June 24th, 2011, the literary guest will be a brand new author who has just published her first novel “The Year of the Rabbit”. Theresa Jobateh, a friend of mine, grew up in the Georgian Bay area, in Ontario. The youngest of eleven children, she barely got a word in edgewise and thus discovered writing as a way of finding her voice. In Ottawa, Theresa found her niche in Information Technology, married and raised three children. In November 2003, she was brutally attacked by her husband and nearly died. When he was brought to trial, convicted and imprisoned, Theresa was left alone to support and raise her family. This gave her a different perspective on life and made writing her “exhaust valve”. Her novel was published in April under the pen name of Florence T Lyon. You can access links to excerpts and blog spots at www.yearoftherabbit.ca and meet this new author June 24.  Arlette Francière
will be the visual artist of the evening. A professional translator, Arlette discovered her passion for painting
at Concordia University and gradually morphed into a talented, expressionist landscape artist, known for her original use
of rich and vivid colours. “I discovered a gift and realized that painting was something I needed to do.” Arlette’s
preferred theme is the spectacular dynamics between land, sea and sky. She also paints portraits, flowers, still-life
and paintings dealing with social issues. Some of her paintings have even inspired poets as in “Sky/Wave” written
by Henry Beissel. This is hr impression of the Matterhorn, click to enlarge.Phyllis Knox, a renowned soprano performing with both chamber musicians and symphonic orchestras throughout Canada will be the third guest. A quote from Stratford Beacon-Herald hails her as “a voice of clarity and lyrical power with a heartbreakingly beautiful legato”. I am looking forward to this special evening and hope you will join us. (NOTE: At the time of this writing, Alberte was heading to Orléans to take part in the 5th annual Orléans Art Studio Tour, held on June 11and 12 which she said featured 24 artists at 12 studios in Orléans and Blackburn Hamlet. I will make a point of visiting Angela Verlaeckt Clark’s studio as I am curious to see how her huge seven-foot piece of marble is turning out. I invite you to visit Orléans Art Studio Tour’s website at www.oast.ca where you will find a site map, the names and addresses of the artist studios.) Please visit our local artists and don’t forget Arts Night on June 24! Alberte Villeneuve-Sinclair is the author of The Neglected Garden and two French novels. Visit her website to learn more www.albertevilleneuve.ca. Back to top |
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| Animal wisdom and children
- Parc Oméga - Montebello “Nature is a never ending source of inspiration” |
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On the Friday of March Break, my daughter packed the children and a picnic in the family van and we headed for Parc Oméga on Highway 323, just north of Montebello, Québec. I had never visited this park so I was glad to accompany them. The children were very impressed by the ferry ride that took us from Cumberland, across the Ottawa River to the Québec side. They followed the river’s course along the highway and surmised its majesty. We entered Parc Oméga around eleven. Well situated, the park is divided into sections clearly laid out on their hand-out map so you can choose the course you want to follow. Our ultimate goal was to make our way to its sugarbush for lunch. Adèle purchased two bags of carrots so the children could feed the wapitis, elks, red deer and Fallow deer, on route. We were advised not to feed the wild boars or the bison. Members of the deer family are quite comfortable with visitors. They walk up to your car and sniff it out to see if you have anything to offer; they will even poke their head into the car so you can pat their nose. They have become the ultimate beggars! The children enjoyed feeding them.
We slowly made our way to the sugarbush situated on a craggy hill. The sap was running but the season had just started due to the recent cold weather. We headed for the log cabin where a wood stove made it a comfortable place to have lunch. Two large picnic tables and two beautiful wooden rocking chairs made for perfect accommodation. Adèle and I chose the first table and promptly served the lunch. Two deer sniffed around the log cabin while we ate. (Note: Click on the pictures to enlarge.) After lunch, Mommy fed Baby Jessie while we headed over to the sugar shanty to buy some maple taffy. A gentleman was carefully stirring the thickening syrup on a wood stove. When it was ready, he brought the steaming pot outside and slowly spooned the thick syrup over a dripping pan filled with fresh snow. We promptly twisted the cooling delicacy around a Popsicle stick and headed back to the cabin with our treat and an extra one for their mom. The taffy was yummy sweet and real sticky. Lea got some in her hair and Nathan, on his coat. Sticky fingers and all, it was worth it! When we left the area, refreshed and ready to explore some more, we saw some Alpine ibex on a
steep crag. Even the young ones were climbing and, believe or not, so were some of the wild My grandchildren have all chosen a totem animal. Nathan’s is the bear. And like the bear, Nathan is a “bon vivant”. He loves life and he loves to eat. Like the bear, Nathan is the one with the sturdier build and he is very comfortable with being on his own. His capacity to fully concentrate on a game or occupation means he is very self-reliant and can entertain himself for long periods of time. I was reminded of the bear’s capacity to retire for long periods and not suffer from solitude, something we should practice once in a while instead of always being on the go and running ourselves ragged.
We also saw some coyotes. There are some in our area and the children had seen a dead one along
the roadside once before. The coyotes were pacing up and down their enclosure, probably wishing We talked about Logan’s totem animal, the dog… man’s faithful friend. Some dogs, like the husky and the malamute share the same ancestry as the wolf. And like his totem, Logan is always there to help and is extremely responsible when it comes to looking after his brothers and baby sister. You can trust him. He is quick to spot things and in two instances, he was first to notice an animal we were looking for and share that information. Lea is our monkey, agile and intelligent. She is the eternal entertainer, always imagining something new: writing a story, inventing a new choreography or singing a new song. She loves glitzy clothes but also loves to climb trees and play structures. And Baby Jessie has been offered the lamb as her personal totem because she makes those funny little bleating sounds and she is very cuddly. Will she be a very patient and trusting soul? It could very well be! One thing I know, if she is offered a secure and loving environment, she will grow up knowing she is loved and loving others. She will learn to trust herself and trust others. There is a whole new world out there for her to discover and the clan will be happy to show her the way. I invite you to visit Parc Oméga. Check their website for more information and enjoy nature at its best! P.S. Monday evening, Logan called to tell me there were impressive flocks of wild geese in the sky. He enjoys and appreciates the circle of life and that is good! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) |
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| International Women’s Day at Place Sarsfield | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 e inherit from our ancestors gifts so often taken for granted. Each of us contains within
us this inheritance of the soul. We are links between the ages, containing past and present expectations, sacred
memories and future promise.”(Edward Sellner) These words from Edward Sellner could not have been more appropriate in light of this year’s March 8th celebration of International Women’s Day at Place Sarsfield as they also celebrated the 125th anniversary of Sarsfield’s Saint-Hugues parish. Organizers wanted to honour some of the region’s fabulous women as well as remind us of women who were at the forefront of Canadian history. A quiz was used to test our knowledge of history reminding us, for example, that Roberta Bondar was the first Canadian woman to become an astronaut, Kim Campbell was our first woman Prime Minister, Jeanne Sauvé was our first female Govenor General and Cairine Wilson, the first woman to be nominated to the Canadian Senate in 1931. Dinner, served by Desjardins Catering, offered everyone a chance to chat and discover the other ladies who shared our table. Connections were made as it was obvious to all we live in a small world indeed. We talked about people we had known, and their influence on our lives. People who usually stand out in the collective memories are the ones who have made it a lifelong pursuit to be healthy and happy, people who have found balance in their own life and are willing to share their beliefs and their feelings with others… Willing to show the way so to speak! Joanne talked about Katie Zeisig, who at age 86, still teaches yoga in Navan and Cumberland and has been honoured as the city’s oldest part-time employee. I met this fine lady some years ago during one of our yoga sessions and found her to be a truly inspirational person. People like Kathie seem to vibrate at a higher level that energizes and motivates others, and makes them feel better! Along with the sugar pie and apple pie, the evening’s honour roll started. Seven ladies were honoured. I’ll introduce four of them in this article. Eva Kennedy of Cumberland is my first fabulous woman. Joyce Kennedy, Eva’s daughter, told her mother’s remarkable story in her book “Just call me Eva: The Story of an Uncommon Woman.” Eva Kennedy was a registered nurse trained in New York City, the wife of Cumberland’s clerk and treasurer, Robert J. Kennedy. Known for her extraordinary energy, Eva raised six children during the Depression, cared for the sick and injured, delivered babies (many of them in her own home), was the church organist, offered counseling to numerous men and women in need and often filled in for her husband at the Township Office (without pay). In the 20s, she started a maternity home and first aid centre in her home which would see her conduct surgery on the kitchen table, deliver and care for more than 500 babies and eventually transform her home into the main medical clinic for the inhabitants and visitors of the village. (One of her sons became our family doctor.) Her husband’s office also operated out of the family home and Eva often registered payments or official business in the late evening hours. A humanist, she often worried for the plight of others and sympathized with the men who lost their jobs during the Great Depression and were forced to travel to look for jobs. She would leave food for them on her back steps. Eva’s letters and diaries, a rare legacy about country life, the struggles of the Great Depression and the war that saw her sons fighting in Europe, have been preserved by her daughter, Joyce. A rare glimpse in the life of a most uncommon woman! The second fabulous woman is Sister Betty Ann Kinsella who founded the Youville Centre. In 1985, she recognized there was a need to provide single teenage mothers with accommodation, daycare for their infants and toddlers and social services that would allow them to complete their high school diploma. That year, she brought together the first volunteer Board of Directors and together they worked to realize the dream of opening a centre that combined education, housing and child care under one roof… all done on a shoestring budget. “The Impossible Dream… that is now a reality!” as the 1987 funding campaign posters for the centre announced, a dream that is still a reality with Sister Betty Ann at the helm until 1997. She would come back to chair the Capital Campaign that raised funds for the new Youville Centre on Mann Avenue. Sister Betty Ann was the recipient of the 2002 Quality of Life Award, the 2006 Investing in People Award and the Order of Ontario in 2011. Indeed, a fabulous woman!  Rollande (Lavergne) Leduc’s story is a story of caring and devotion between a village and
an orphan who became a vibrant member of the Sarsfield community. She went on to marry Joseph Leduc and together
they operated the General Store and managed the post office while raising their three children. Rollande remains
very active in the parish, offering her services for pastoral duties, playing the organ, singing in the choir and
welcoming people at the church services. She played an important role during the parish centennial celebrations,
particularly with the committee that produced the Centennial Book, a great collection of historic facts and family
histories. In 1960, she founded the local Parent Teacher Association and remained president for six consecutive
years.With a flair for writing, a positive mindset and self-confidence, she is very popular, attending senior events, activities with the local “Golden Girls” and keeping up with current affairs. At 94, Rollande is a truly caring and dynamic role model. (NOTE: To enlarge pictures, do a right-mouse-button click and choose the "view Image" option.)  Germaine (Lafrance) Dessaint’s presentation was offered by her
granddaughter, Dany Brisebois who thinks that she is no ordinary woman, but rather a fine example of courage, love,
compassion and caring. Like so many women of her time, when she married, she moved in with her in-laws and quickly
started a family of her own: twelve in all. They all learned through example the value of generosity and selflessness
as they witnessed their mom’s welcoming ways with anyone who crossed the threshold of their home. Germaine has
been a Sarsfield parishioner for 68 years and has been involved in many of the local clubs and associations, cumulating
friends along the way as will attest “The Golden Girls”. Married for 59 years to Jean-Noël, theirs is a fine
example of the ideal relationship, of soulmates… one her granddaughter hopes to emulate one day.Dany ended her presentation with this summary: “It’s ordinary in this computerized, quantified 21st century to find oneself defined by numbers. Well, Germaine’s numbers are extraordinary: mother of eleven, grandmother of nineteen, great-grandmother of 12, mother-in-law of 8. Woman of 90! Grand-maman Germaine, you are Number One!”  Wonderful testimonials! And our gracious hostesses, Pierrette Bourbonnais and
Rita Dessaint also paid tribute to Doucia (Raymond) Daoust, Murielle Desjardins-Vinette and Anetta McDonald, all
women of fine character.To conclude, let me borrow from Christiane Northrup’s “Mother-Daughter Wisdom”: “Our bodies and those of our daughters were created by a seamless web of nature and nurture, of biology informed by consciousness that we can trace back to the beginning of time. Thus, every daughter  contains her mother and all the women who
came before her. The unrealized dreams of our maternal ancestors are part of our heritage. To become optimally
healthy and happy, each of us must get clear about the ways in which our mother’s history both influenced and continues
to inform our state of health, our beliefs and how we live our lives. Every woman who heals herself helps heal
all the women who came before her and all those who will come after her.”Blessings to all! Read more on International Women's Day, here. Read about International Women's Day in Canada, here. (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| How would you rate your smile? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 ow many times have we heard: “I just fell in love with her gorgeous smile! Or, he has such a winning smile!”?
A reader recently commented on my latest photo. “I love it! You have a perpetual and very engaging smile that invites
people to smile back.” Of course, in order to have an attractive smile, one needs a good set of “pearly whites”
and in our family, we have been blessed with good teeth.My sister, Diane (on the right in picture with colleague Julie Engel), who just turned 60 last week received the ODAA (Ontario Dental Assistant Association) pin and certificate for her 40-year membership. Actually, s  he has been a dental assistant for almost
42 years and she has been our guide and crusader when it comes to oral health.For a gal who didn’t know what she wanted to be in life, she never looked back once she started out in that line of work. I often tease her because when she meets someone new, she doesn’t look them in the eye at first glance; she looks at their teeth! She has always been generous with advice on how to take care of your teeth and gums, in fact, she gave presentations in some of my classes when I was teaching and the children loved it. She has always been conscious that good oral hygiene starts when you are young. Of course, healthy teeth and gums are not just inherited; they have a lot to do with good nutrition! In an article by Iris Winston for the Citizen, she advises that “Many people with bad teeth and swollen, inflamed gums might be malnourished, even though their food intake is high. Too much of the wrong kind of food is just as bad as having too little to eat.” As Dr. Lynn Tomkins of the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Dentistry explains, “Teeth are formed during the early part of our lives and are, to a large extent, dependent on what we eat, for proper formation. When their teeth are forming, children need adequate amounts of calcium and vitamin C to ensure they develop healthy teeth and bones. This is also true for teens when they develop their wisdom teeth. In addition to milk products, she advocates fluoride in drinking water to make teeth hard and strong and emphasizes the importance of vitamins A and D so that bone metabolism is stimulated. As we get older, we continue to need these vitamins and the best way to get them is from our food. Vegetables such as broccoli and spinach are good sources of vitamin A, while strawberries, tomatoes and citrus fruits are a good source of vitamin C.” Healthy gums are also very important! Dr. Bruce Ward, president of the British Columbia Dental Association warns that “red, inflamed, swollen gums are like the canary in the coal mine. If the body is not in good shape, the gums are one of the places that it shows first.” Years ago, although my dental hygienist suggested I use dental floss regularly, I was left frustrated because the dental floss would get stuck between my teeth and break. I would give up and skip the procedure, but eventually, my gums started bleeding if I tried to floss. It took one warning from Diane who said the accumulation of bacteria in the mouth can cause inflammation of the digestive system and cause serious diseases in other parts of the body such as the heart! That was it! I went on a mission and finally found dental tape (Total being my favourite brand) that worked marvelously. I became a devout flosser and soon my gums stopped bleeding as I faithfully flossed twice a day. Of course, brushing your teeth twice a day is also a must. A good toothbrush and toothpaste are essential. Check out the variety; the choice is incredible! You can use an electric toothbrush! There are picks, rubber-tip massagers, all kinds of mouthwashes and more. The thing is: YOU MUST USE THEM! And if you are away and can’t brush, eat a fibrous fruit or vegetable. An apple is a good choice because it stimulates saliva, cleans your teeth and has nutrients to boot. If not, just rinsing your mouth with water will help. All this prevents the accumulation of plaque which is essentially an accumulation of bacteria that eventually causes an acid that erodes the teeth and causes cavities and bad breath. Regular visits to your dentist will ensure your teeth and gums are healthy, plaque is removed, teeth are polished and any tooth decay is repaired promptly. In many cases a fluoride treatment is offered as part of the prevention package. Orthodontic and cosmetic dentistry also offers solutions to those who are looking for that “million-dollar smile”. So if you indulged your sweet tooth at Valentine’s Day, don’t worry but don’t make a habit of it. If you do eat sweets, it is recommended you have it with your meal because the increased flow of saliva helps wash away and dilute the sugar. Good news for tea drinkers: drinking green tea can protect your teeth. And if you need to snack, choose sugar-free snacks such as plain milk and buttermilk, fruit and raw vegetables, plain yogurt and cheese, hard-boiled or devilled eggs, nuts, sunflower or pumpkin seeds, melba toast or salads.  So smile! You never know who will smile back! Cheers! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| Art & Nature: the perfect combo | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 ook deep
into nature and then you will understand everything better.” I smiled when I read Albert
Einstein’s wise words in the advertisement for the 2011 Canadian Museum of Nature Exhibition: “Nature into Sculpture”
on display till February 13th at the Canadian Museum of Nature, 240 McLeod St. in Ottawa.I have this saying written down in my book of famous quotes. The advertisement also tells us: “The natural world has always been a primary source of inspiration for sculptors.” And it is true with most art forms: drawing, painting, photography, weaving… Nature’s masterpieces have always been a source of inspiration and have provided the raw materials: wood, clay, stone, fiber or metal that sculptors in turn “cut, chisel, bend, shape or mould” into works of art. I was happy to visit the Nature into Sculpture Show last Sunday because my friend, Yohanna Loonen had three pieces on display and the artists were present. I hadn’t visited the museum  since its reopening after extensive renovations
so this show provided the perfect opportunity to do both the show and museum visit.The sculptures were quite varied and well displayed. Yohanna greeted us warmly and showed us her artwork. She joked about her two ceramic trees and said they looked like they belong in “Dante’s Inferno”. Her third one of a man sitting and holding what looked like a snake was superb. There was something for everyone! I think my favourite was a huge and colourful Raku piece. Yohanna is a multi-talented artist who paints, sculpts, draws and writes. She includes gardening and cooking as art forms and I agree. To her, art is the perfect medium in which one can express feelings of joy, fear, anticipation, happiness, disillusionment. Born in Holland, Yohanna has had the privilege of admiring works from masters such as Rembrant and Vincent Van Gogh in famous art museums. Art transcends everyday life and offers a glimpse into the artist’s soul by exposing the genius behind the ordinary human being. This art, in turn, inspires us. Van Gogh, according to Yohanna, is the Master of all times in that department and I tend to agree with her. The proof is in the pudding: Van Gogh’s Portrait of Dr. Gachet sold for $82 million U.S. but Vincent only sold one of his paintings during his lifetime. This is the sad irony: others benefit from the talents of a genius. Most artists live in poverty and only gain recognition after their passing.  For Yohanna, being able to express her feelings through art is a joy and a unique therapy.
She particularly enjoys the autumn splendour of this area. Every autumn, she heads outdoors with her easel and
pastels and reproduces the kaleidoscopic colours that made her fall in love with Canada: the crystal blue of lakes
and rivers, the earthy tones of our vast lands, the towering evergreens, the reds, bright orange, rust and gold
of our deciduous trees. She says she never saw anything comparable in Europe. “My heart fills with joy at seeing
these colours and I must PAINT them!” Yohanna draws inspiration from her favourite Impressionists such as Paul
Cézanne.Sadly enough, Yohanna’s mother considered her daughter’s writing and drawings as a waste of time and urged her to learn sewing instead. (To this day, she hates sewing!) I can empathize with Yohanna. I had to hide in order to read and write and I had to buy a sketching pad myself with  the proceeds from empty bottles collected
in the ditches along Old Highway 17 during my youth. My parents never thought to buy me art supplies and the books
I owned, including Anne Frank’s diary, came from a collection of books I had won at the famous “Concours de français”
held in Grade 8.There comes a time in life, when you have fulfilled all the practical requirements society or family required of you: a career with a reasonable salary, marriage and a family, a certain social status and now you want to indulge and go back to your early passions whether they be photography, painting, writing, sculpting, woodwork, ceramic, needlepoint or whatever. This, in turn, will become your special legacy! This will be the true expression of your soul! Don’t miss out on it! I won’t! Blessings to all! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| I’m finally ready… to talk about ALZHEIMER’S | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| have been toying
with the idea of writing an article on Alzheimer’s for almost two years, ever since my sister-in-law, Arline, proposed
the subject. “I’m not ready, I explained. It’s too raw! Too close to home…” You see my Dad died in the final stages
of the disease. His sister, Yvette, died earlier after fracturing her hip and was spared what I call “the vegetative
state” of the disease. Dad’s youngest brother also suffers from Alzheimer’s as does my mother. So you may understand my reluctance to talk about it! The disease has affected many aspects of our family life and has caused division. When Dad was diagnosed, I was writing a novel about growing up on the farm in Cumberland. My inspiration went down the drain as I took center stage in having him diagnosed. This novel may never be completed unless my grandchildren take a vested interest in the story of how I grew up on the farm in the 50s and 60s. It took a fine article by J.C. Sulzenko, “In the dark about Alzheimer’s” to give me the courage to write about Alzheimer in my family. (I will come back to J. C.’s article later.) As you may know, around 500 000 Canadians suffer from Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia. Predictions are that this may double in the next generation. Some worry that it will paralyze the Canadian medical system. One in seven Canadians is now 65 and over and age is a major risk factor linked to the disease. There are various types of dementia, Alzheimer being but one. My father suffered from Lewy Bodies dementia which is a multisystem disease. The early signs may have showed up ten years before his diagnosis but they were denied or covered up by my mom and Dad, himself. He would, for instance, forget to bring his wallet during an outing, get lost while driving and would become frustrated when you had to remind him again of something. Instead of participating in a conversation, he just smiled and nodded. If you asked him his opinion, he would come up with something way out of line. Lewy bodies dementia (named after the scientist Friederich H. Lewy) often has a rapid onset as abnormal proteins, clumps of alpha-synuclein and ubiquitin deplete the brain of acetylcholine, causing a disruption of perception, thinking and behaviour. Lewy bodies dementia sometimes exists in conjunction with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Features of this disease, also called DLB, include greatly fluctuating cognition with great variations in attention from day to day and hour to hour. The other frightful thing is recurrent visual hallucinations. These involve perception of people or animals that aren’t there. I remember one day when my parents came over to visit. Brian, my late husband, invited Dad to sit in the living-room with him. Dad chose to sit right beside Brian and all of a sudden, he grabbed Brian’s arm. “I’m being followed by two bad guys”, he said as he looked around and panicked. “There they are! Right there! Do you see them?” When Brian looked in the direction Dad was pointing to, he realized what he was seeing was their reflection in the glass doors of the fireplace. Although my husband tried to convince him it was a reflection, my dad was unconvinced and remained agitated. Dad was often confused and easily disoriented. One day, we dined at a restaurant with Mom and Dad who soon needed to go to the washroom. My husband showed him the way and when Dad didn’t return, Brian went to check on him. This particular restaurant was divided into two rooms and the one Dad had to cross had a mirrored wall. This totally disoriented him as he looked into the reflection and saw no one he could recognize. He just stood there, frozen and confused! Soon, everyday jobs became impossible as he forgot the mechanics of chores from his everyday life: how to boost a battery, unlock a door, repair a fence, start the tractor or make a phone call… Even unwrapping a present became a challenge! Frustrated, he would yell at Mom or walk away. He started hiding things like the car keys, clothes or money in order to control the situation. Mom would often panic and yell back or scold him. He became a sloppy eater, had problems dressing himself, prowled around the house at night, frightened and confused. Mom, Diane and I joined The Alzheimer Society of Ottawa support group in order to better understand the disease and help Mom cope better so she wouldn’t yell at him, which usually made matters worse. Homecare support services were set up and for a while Dad enjoyed a weekly daycare outing in Ottawa. Before long, even that wasn’t enough! DLB sufferers often experience problems such as repeated falls, fainting and transient loss of consciousness that can be life-threatening. Dad would often run away and one day while crossing the highway, his legs gave out and he fell in the middle of the road. Fortunately, the oncoming cars were able to stop in time… but he could have been killed. It was high time to move him to a care facility! We chose the Sarsfield nursing home because my mother could drive there without difficulty and he would still be in a rural environment. The disease progressed quickly. Soon, he no longer recognized us; he became incontinent and needed to be helped during mealtime. The aggressive behaviour persisted and he would become agitated if told differently about something. I remember one day when he was more lucid, he announced that his Uncle Louis had come to visit. His Uncle Louis, a favourite uncle of his, had died many, many years ago. Dad didn’t recognize or remember his own children but for some reason, Uncle Louis’ memory had been clear as spring water on that day. Dad died in May 2001. Because he had a healthy heart and a good appetite, he lived about ten years after the diagnosis but there was no quality to his life as he moved into a vegetative state. Only music, old favourites such as “You are my sunshine”, would bring a sparkle in his eyes. Little did we know we would have to deal with Alzheimer’s again but it soon became apparent,  except to our youngest brother, that Mom
was showing signs of memory loss. She became paranoid and started hiding things, all the while accusing other people
of robbing her. Healthy eating suffered as she lost most of her cooking skills. Personal hygiene decreased as she
relied on her homemaker for her weekly bath. Her driving became erratic and dangerous as all rules of the road
blurred and we had to force my younger brother to take away the keys to her vehicle. As happens in many families,
he was in denial. Time to step in again and intervene! I got in touch with social services and asked that Mom be
tested. Once diagnosed it became clear that life at the farmhouse was becoming too dangerous, so we decided to
move her out. Since Mom’s Alzheimer’s is a less aggressive one, we chose Jardins Bellerive, a residence for autonomous
seniors in Rockland, her hometown, where she could still be close to her extended family and friends. She wasn’t
happy about the move and would constantly criticize it, all the while enjoying the new-found companionship and
social activities. She became very much a flirt, something unusual that eventually made her unpopular with some
of the residents.When it became obvious she was no longer autonomous enough, we moved her to a more specialized facility in Orléans (Résidence St. Louis) where we could visit her more often and she could get the required care. Again, the paranoia surfaced and Mom started swearing, something she had never done before. She kept saying thieves were coming into her room and stealing things. Her phone had been programmed so she would constantly call us with incredible stories. It was a very frustrating time. Now she is calm; the paranoia seems to have abated but her memory is gone. She cannot muster even a simple conversation as the significance of many everyday words eludes her. She simply laughs and raises her shoulders to indicate she has no clue. Last Sunday when I visited her, she must have asked a dozen times how many children I have. “Only one, Mom!” I repeated for the umpteenth time, showing her pictures of Baby Jessie, my daughter and the clan. She held a photo of Diane’s son with his two year-old boy but had no idea who they were! Even though she always enjoys our visit, it is forgotten as soon as we leave. J. C. Sulzenko’s “In the dark about Alzheimer’s” mentions that it is important to inform children about the disease. On New Year’s Day, I took my granddaughter with me on a visit to my sister’s place where Mom was celebrating with them. Mom was totally confused and a bit agitated. She kept asking me if I would be taking her home and although we assured her she would go back with her niece, Mélanie, it was of no use. Mélanie was a stranger to her. Lea, my granddaughter, was taken aback by her great-grandma’s behaviour. She kept looking at me with a very puzzled look on her face! When we left, she said, “Grandma, you have to keep doing yoga and writing because I don’t want you to ever forget who I am!” If only it was that easy! There is one consolation: DLB is not thought to be a strongly hereditary disease but there is no cure for it and like Alzheimer’s, treatments remain palliative in nature. New guidelines have been set for diagnosis because the sooner treatments start, the better as it slows down the progression of the disease. New tests such as brain scans, MRI scans and spinal taps are proving useful in the discovery of biomarkers which can indicate early Alzheimer’s. The purpose here is to delay the start of the disease to the point of eradicating it. One thing is sure, I wouldn’t wish Alzheimer’s on my worst enemy. When my granddaughter asked if I intended to live till 100, I explained that I wished to live as long as I could be useful, not longer. I hope to be granted that wish as I never want to become a burden to my family or to society. Research has shown that a healthy heart is linked with a younger brain, so stay healthy! You know the rules: exercise, eat healthy, watch your weight, don’t smoke, visit your GP and get tested, stay connected with family, friends and your social network. Love life! P.S. By JC | Published: January 17, 2011 Please go to this link at the Hamilton Spectator of January 17, 2011, to read JC's article: Let children in the Alzheimer’s ‘tent’. Blessings to all! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| Tea, Coffee and me | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 udging from your
response, Gaston’s New Year message was extremely popular! Sometimes we do get stuck with relationships that weigh
us down or are no longer sustainable and we must break free. I had the pleasure of viewing the movie, “The Young
Queen Victoria” last Saturday. Queen Victoria’s mother, the Duchess of Kent, groomed her daughter for the eventual
role as a monarch by imposing on her a cloistered life in which she was forbidden to speak to anyone, except in
Mother’s presence or that of her strict German governess. Mother’s idea was to rule as a regent but the day of
her ascension to the throne, Queen Victoria who was barely eighteen made it clear that from then on she wanted
to be left alone and Mother was to back off. Victoria ruled the British Empire for 65 years. This is a perfect
example of how we must sometimes impose limits on intrusive friends and family members.Today, I’d like to offer a complementary 2011 wish: “May you always have a soft place to land!” For me, it has always been “Home Sweet Home”… a place where I can relax, just be me and… enjoy a cup of tea. We all need something soothing when we’re tired, stressed out, bored, overworked, thirsty or feeling sick and tea has always been my magic potion. I started drinking tea around age twelve. Mom would make a big pot of loose leaf tea. “Trumpet” was the brand… not the best, but good enough. When I got married, I switched to more refined brands such as Tetley. For a long time, my favourite was Earl Grey. I still ask for it when I go to the restaurant. As years went by, research studies proved that I had good reasons to drink tea. Tea contains high levels of antioxidants: polyphenols, flavonoids and catechins which neutralize free radicals that can cause damage to cells and tissues throughout the body. Coffee also contains these antioxidants but when I was younger, coffee would produce heart palpitations, give me the jitters and hinder my sleep. So tea was an obvious choice as it contains far less caffeine and none at all with most herbal teas! It has now been accepted that six to eight cups of tea per day are beneficial and will not cause dehydration as was previously suspected. It doesn’t matter whether you drink black, red, green or white teas; they all contain antioxidants. My taste in tea has greatly expanded as more varieties have become available. For example, in the morning, I often enjoy Bija’s Yerba mate which contains caffeine and was used by the Guarani Indians of South America to cope with life in the harsh jungle of the Parana River. Argentine gauchos continue to use this tea to stay alert and energized during the day. I find this tea energizes me in the morning. For lunch, I love my Chai tea! My all-time favourite is Celestial Seasonings’ Bengal Spice. This Indian spiced, chai tea is flavoured with cinnamon, ginger, cardamom and a hint of vanilla. I drink it with a touch of milk. Truly satisfying! At dinnertime, I have chamomile which has a calming effect and promotes sleep. I used to drink it in the evening but since falling asleep is a slow process for me, drinking it earlier, helps. Some teas go hand in hand with a special meal. I always choose Jasmine or Lemongrass tea when having Chinese or Thai food and mint tea with Moroccan food. Peppermint tea is a popular before or after-dinner tea for many who find it soothes an upset stomach and aids digestion. My friend, Juliette swears by Celestial Seasonings’ Peppermint tea which she calls “The Candy Cane tea”. Mint grows in a tiny garden bed, away from the main garden because of its invasive nature. In the summertime, I make refreshing mint tea and serve it cold. I also enjoy green tea with a hint of lemon during the summer. Of course, herbal teas have been used for their medicinal properties for ages. Try Echinacea during the cold and flu season. You can make a lavender infusion to help relieve the symptoms of headaches or migraines. Thyme will calm coughing and relax an irritated throat. Those are but a few I have tried and appreciate. These past years, tea houses have become popular. The Gloucester City Center Mall has the Nihao Tea House which offers a wide variety of teas to enjoy on the premises or bring home. I order a Chai Latte when I go there. PAM’s Coffee and Tea Co. also is favourite place as is Second Cup and Starbucks. Back home today, I enjoyed tea with lunch while I watched the chickadees and juncos at the feeder. The bright-coloured cardinal was there for a short visit also. I read my newspaper and reflected on Haiti’s plight: 810 000 Haitians are still homeless a year after the infamous 2010 earthquake. When will they ever find a “soft place to land”? Blessings to all! Enjoy a cup of tea with me! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| Happy New Year! “Life is a journey, and love is what makes that journey worthwhile.” (Author unknown) |
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 or years,
I have enjoyed the same routine on New Year’s Eve: a quiet evening at home with the Christmas tree lights on, a
fire in the fireplace and quiet all around. Before I celebrate the coming year, I review the passing one, not through
the journalistic eye which often looks for sensationalism, not through the comedy shows who ridicule everything
but through my own experience and perspective on life.Tragedy came early in 2010. I was in Florida on January 12th when a powerful earthquake hit Haiti. Driving back from Tampa, we experienced but a small sample of how natural forces can create havoc. We were stuck for hours on the highway when an entire section collapsed into a sink hole. But in Haiti tons and tons of concrete collapsed, crushing and killing the local population, some tourists and foreign workers. What ensued was a human catastrophe! Ill-equipped, the country was paralyzed, causing massive logistical problems for foreign aid and rescue teams that were dispatched to the island. While around the world donations of money and supplies were collected, the death toll mounted. Foreign aid workers struggled with lack of security and medical supplies. Desperation soon turned into violence as Haitians were herded into make-shift tent cities… And to top everything, cholera later surfaced. I realize, in all things, balance is fragile. I proudly participated in the fundraising event that was held at “La Nouvelle-Scène” in Ottawa, on January 30th. I would later contribute a story to an anthology meant to raise more funds for Haiti. When we were invited to talk about this project on Rogers TV23, December 9th, life was still precarious in Haiti. Kettie who lost her mother and sister-in-law during the earthquake now grieved for her father. No one was optimistic about life returning to normal anytime soon. Over 290 000 people have died since that fateful day. Ottawa enjoyed wonderful weather in 2010! Surprisingly, we also experienced a small earthquake centered near Val des Bois in June. But in many parts of our country and around the world weather created havoc: floods, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions, landslides, wildfires, crop failures, an 8.8 earthquake in Chili and more. Here, we enjoyed a mild winter, early spring and a hot summer that enabled gardeners to produce wonderful veggies till autumn and finally, a calm start to the winter. We were lucky! Canada registered its hottest year on record. For the uplifting offerings of the year, the Vancouver Olympics were certainly proud moments for Canadians. I was amazed by Joannie Rochette’s grace under fire. Our athletes made us proud! Another story that touched my heart was the plight of those thirty-three Chilean miners who were confined 700 meters underground for 69 days. Their courage inspired us and the rescue efforts amazed us. Here was one mining disaster that turned into the unforgettable story we craved! Michaëlle Jean’s departure saddened me. In my eyes, she has been the most gracious Govenor General since His Excellency George Vanier. My hopes of Harper prolonging her mandate were dashed. Uncomfortable with her charisma, he started singing to beef up his own image and maybe, convince artists he cares about them. (I had a brandy at that point!) Michaëlle Jean will surely be a champion of the rebuilding of Haiti at UNESCO. I wish her well! This fall, I reconnected with Margaret Trudeau at the Writers’ Festival. I must admit that reading her book “Changing My Mind” was difficult at times. I wish her well also and admire the work she does for Watercan and for the Mental Health Organization in striving to overcome the stigma attached to mental health problems and offer sufferers insights in how to attain a quality life. Finally, the most disturbing case of 2010 was the evil and sadistic secret life of Russell Williams. To think that such a high-functioning military individual could hide a demented deviance of this magnitude sent shivers down my spine. I chose not to dwell on this too long but I hope his days in solitary confinement afford him endless hours of soul-searching and remorse. My final analysis of 2010 was a good one. On a personal note, I didn’t accomplish all I set out to do but I’m satisfied and look forward to 2011 with renewed insight and determination. I will soon hold my new granddaughter in my arms and will continue to devote quality time to loved ones and friends. I look forward to new writing ventures and a bit of travel. After a wonderful New Year Day celebration, I watched The Green Mile on TV, Sunday evening. This film still tugs at my heart strings. “That’s the way it is every day…” admits John Coffey, the black giant on death row, unjustly convicted of raping and killing two little girls…. The film mirrors life’s daily struggle between good and evil. Every day, honest people strive to make a difference as Paul Edge, the corrections officer (played by Tom Hanks) does in the movie. A caring man, he looks after the inmates under his supervision, loves his wife dearly and helps his friends. Limitations often hamper accomplishments. Stringent rules or narrow-minded individuals can spoil efforts to better the situation. In the movie, Percy Wetmore embodies the sadistic and totally immature rookie officer who just doesn’t care and thinks he is above the law. He loves to make people suffer but proves to be an absolute wimp in an emergency. (Bullies are often wimps!) There is also the totally perverted and violent killer, Wild Bill Wharton. Wild Bill ends up shot dead by Percy who goes crazy, then falls into a catatonic state after being punished by John Coffie, a healer and a visionary psychic, who feels intensely the good and bad of the world. After John Coffie performs several miracles and makes his innocence clear, Paul considers letting him walk away. John replies there is too much pain in the world, which he is acutely aware of and extremely sensitive to. He is “rightly tired of the pain” and ready to rest, therefore choosing execution. John Coffie reminds me of the thousands of people who strive to make the world a better place. They often get weary to the bone because life is an uphill battle and their work is never done. But they must go on, shifting priorities when the task threatens to wear them down. Dear friends, my message for this coming year is: “Continue to do your best to make this a better world. And in the process, if you need to shift gear or take a different path, go ahead but continue the good work because our world needs healing.” P.S. I’d like to share a New Year offering from my cousin Gaston: “There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy!” Thanks Gaston! Blessings to all! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| A dream come true for Christmas | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 ometimes the best
Christmas memories are of Christmas spent elsewhere. Memories of our first Christmas in Florida are among the best
and most precious. Adèle, my daughter, was about eight at the time. We were on our own and I suffered from
a broken heart, courtesy of a boyfriend who didn’t know what the hell he wanted in life.My school principal, at that time, used to say I carried my heart on my sleeve. When I was happy, I looked like Pollyanna but when I was sad, I could cry my heart out. A critical situation in my extended family had only made matters worse. M. Groulx called me to his office and listened to my woes. He then suggested I go away for the Christmas holidays. “The more distance the better!” he said. When I argued I couldn’t afford it, his answer was definite: “Go on credit; borrow if you have to, but go! You won’t regret it!” While I was still pondering this prescription one weekend, my cousin Ronny dropped in for a visit. Ronny and I were very close. We had married the same year and our marriages had failed at the same time. I confided my sorrow and my holiday dilemma. Lo and behold, he flashed a wonderful smile at me! He had the perfect solution to my problem. His sister, Lorraine, was heading to Florida for the holidays. All her reservations were made: Disney with a five-day stay at the Polynesian Village, Cypress Gardens, Busch Gardens with a stay in Tampa and finally, a visit to her Dad who had a winter home in Fort Lauderdale. Ronny assured me she would welcome company as she was traveling with her ten year-old son, Daniel. I called Lorraine and, sure enough, she was ecstatic. All I had to do was buy our plane tickets as all the accommodations had two double or queen size beds. Sharing the costs would benefit both. Lorraine would be waiting in Orlando to pick us up at the airport. For Adèle, it was a dream come true! For me, an unforeseen blessing… It didn’t take long to buy the tickets and pack our suitcases. We spent five fun-filled days exploring the Magic Kingdom, Future World, the Land and Epcot Center. It was incredible! We watched the Christmas parade and the fireworks spectacular, met all the Disney characters, barreled down Big Thunder Mountain, rafted down Splash Mountain (one of our favorites), explored the sea and traveled in space at the speed of light. At Epcot, the world was ours to discover. We dined at the Japanese pavilion, ate chocolate éclairs at the French “pâtisserie”, attended a Hawaiian Luau and much, much more. Disney was all decked out for Christmas and the holiday spirit was everywhere. Needless to say, my pain vanished. Daniel was a great companion for my daughter and Lorraine, a divorced single mom, was a true friend and confidant. When our stay at Disney was over, we drove to Cypress Gardens where we toured the grounds and watched an aquatic show. Busch Gardens was another incredible discovery. Animals of all kinds! Things Adèle had never seen before. Finally, we drove to Fort Lauderdale where we celebrated Christmas by dining out at the Palace Restaurant (if my memory is correct). We enjoyed the beach and the water park although it was cool. We didn’t care because Ottawa was in the grips of an arctic deep freeze that had caused power outages throughout the region. Many had cooked the Christmas turkey on their barbecue. As all good things must come to an end, soon it was time to leave. Lorraine and Daniel would stay a few days more with Uncle Leo. Adèle and I came home with memories to last us a lifetime. Through the years, we have had a few Christmases in either Florida or Barbados. We have enjoyed them all! Now Lea and her brothers dream of going to Disney someday! And they want “Gram” to be there when they go. Enjoy the season! Believe in angels! I’ve met a few along the way. Merry Christmas! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| Finding Time! It's still a challenge | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| t took a five-hour
power outage Sunday evening for me to finally sit in the living-room by the flickering firelight and stop to evaluate
my crazy timetable. I have now been retired for ten years, and still, I feel as pressed for time as when I was
working full-time. Of course, since then my husband passed away, leaving me to manage everything on my own. My
writing career has blossomed with two more novels and a weekly column. The clan has expanded dramatically, from
my daughter getting married to expecting Baby #6 to be born in January. I also belong to a dynamic social club,
three retired teachers’ groups and several writers’ associations. People have often said, “How do you manage to do all this?” but despite their admiration, I find that I am often scrambling to get everything done. So I consulted Dr. Nathalie Beauchamp’s website as she was offering an article called “The Keys to Finding More Hours in Your Day”. She suggests that we write down two columns on a piece of paper. In the first you are to write the following items: sleep, work, eating, driving/transportation, socializing, personal care, meal preparation, relaxation, reading, exercise and any other activity you may take part in on a daily basis. Then, in the second column, write down the number of hours each week that you spend doing each one. WELL! I hate math and I won’t do the calculations but just the thought of how much time goes into those specifics leaves me breathless. And her list isn’t even complete!! Nathalie warns us that we cannot change how many hours are in a day, but we can change what we do with those hours. She adds, “It is imperative to focus and compartmentalize your time in order to reach your goals. And you must start by setting SMART goals.” I wonder if Natalie realizes that women’s brains don’t work that way! The male brain compartmentalizes; we integrate everyone and everything into our schedule. While I write this article, I am doing laundry. I also took a call from my daughter who needs a few grocery items for her “Breakfast Bunch” tomorrow morning and since I will be doing errands this afternoon, I am only too happy to accommodate her. With six different stops on my list, I’ll have to save what I’ve written so far and come back to it this evening. Women don’t compartmentalize! They are always there to support others and work another item into their schedule. For example, yesterday was going to be a laundry and gift-wrapping day since this last item had been sidetracked because of the power outage Sunday evening. Well, I managed one load of laundry, called the dentist office to see if I could have a tooth repaired now instead of February. I was offered a two o’clock appointment which I gladly accepted. Moments later, I got a call from University of Ottawa’s CHUO radio station talk show host, Denyse Marleau. She was offering a radio interview at 6:00 p.m. and I couldn’t refuse! So I stayed in town after my dentist appointment and headed over to CHUO radio station after a quick dinner at the Rideau Center. The interview was great! Should I have refused and focused on my schedule? Of course not! The problem with women is they wear so many darn hats! They are cook and bottle washer, housecleaner, shopper, chauffeur, supervisor, advisor, accountant, social director and convener, emergency contact person, nurse, decorator, not to mention daughter, wife and mother… I’m sure I’ve missed some! And, believe it or not, they hold down full-time jobs beside. Now that’s enough to make your head spin! No wonder a lot of them get to Christmas with no energy left to spare. I agree that one must set goals. Dr. Nathalie suggests we set four goals: two health and fitness goals, one mental/emotional goal and one personal goal. Write down why you want to achieve those goals, set three specific action steps that need to be taken for each goal’s accomplishment and pen them into your calendar. She says, “The majority of people have a general idea of what they want out of life but no plan on how to get it. (That’s true!) 23 per cent have absolutely no idea what they want from life and only 10 per cent have specific, well-defined goals.” Whether you call them plans or dreams, you need to take the proper steps to make them come true. It’s amazing how once you set your plan in motion; someone will be there to support your dream… A common culprit to making any dream or plan stall is procrastination. It can come in different disguises: family or job obligations, lack of money or energy, overuse of technology (emails, Facebook, Twitter, television, etc.), people who think your plan is out of reach… Your power lies in your BELIEF and your willingness to work at it till it comes true. This year, I wanted to go to France but the timing was wrong and the opportunity didn’t show up. But I haven’t given up my dream. I bought a new engagement calendar for next year; it’s all about France and features a lot of the places I want to visit. This way, from the start of the year, I will nourish that plan till it comes true. I also had a plan to publish my anthology “Muses from the Blue Shack” by the end of this year. My busy schedule has prevented me from working on the selection of stories and articles and the painting I need to get this book in print. But it will be on my 2011 New Year resolutions list for sure. Dr. Nathalie compares planning to driving. “If there is an obstacle standing in the right lane as you are driving down the road, what do you do? You have to go around the obstacle, but it is important to get back in your lane as soon as possible. The same goes for your schedule. When the unexpected happens, carefully navigate the obstacles and get back on track as soon as possible.” And you don’t need a five-hour power outage to re-evaluate your plans. Set aside some time. The New Year is always a great time for doing this! Revise your dream list and its action plan and sail on to your destination. P.S. I like Steven Covey’s 90/10 principle! 10 per cent of what happens in your life is unexpected things you have to put up with. The other 90 per cent is determined by your reaction and YOU can control your reaction. I LOVE IT!! Best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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| Bah Humbug! Watch out for Christmas indigestion! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| t started early!
Right after Halloween, the stores pulled out their Christmas decorations, sent out their Christmas flyers, dolled
out their Christmas shopping advice. We have all used some of their professional advice to keep our sanity in check
until Christmas rolls around. How many times have you heard: Budget for the gift-giving season? Make a list of people to whom you will offer gifts. Shop early! In Reader’s Digest December “The Spirit of Giving”, we are told to take the time to think about each person, and jot down a few notes about their hobbies, interests and personality. How to choose the gift? Let your budget be your guide - and stick to it! In our family, we have always made wish lists. It makes shopping so much easier! My daughter fills me in on which gift I can take from that list and purchase for the little ones, herself and her husband. I am almost done with the shopping and will start wrapping soon, having bought wrapping paper at Canadian Tire yesterday and gift cards at the Dollar Store. For the other persons on my list, I try to find something thoughtful which will be appreciated. I always buy a few boxes of chocolate for surprise gifts and, of course, there is always a box of turtles for my godson, an established tradition of many years. Now for the gift wrapping! This article suggests you think outside the box and try creating “personality” wrapping. That’s all fine and dandy and I try to do this with the choice of wrapping paper and gift card, but I don’t have time to look for wrapping that features the recipient’s favourite colours, hobbies, interests, quirks and unique individuality, nor do I have time to use non-traditional materials. I have always admired people who take the time to do this but I simply don’t HAVE THE TIME! Then the experts’ advice on holiday meals start arriving…They suggest you keep it simple and, thank God, most people have simplified holiday menus. BUT, there is still some traditional cooking you cannot dismiss… and it takes time to shop for the ingredients, do the actual cooking and store the product for holiday meals. I remember some of our favourite Christmas holidays were those spent in Barbados or Florida. Gifts were simple as the main gift was the trip. No cooking, no entertaining… just enjoying time together in a sunnier climate and having your meals served for us. Ah! I still dream of those vacations! But, back to reality!! I have to make “tourtières » soon. My daughter insists! Pastries have become less popular but date squares are still a must. Now for getting the house ready! They tell you to keep it simple and although I have adhered to that principle, putting up the Christmas tree and simple decorations will still take half a day. After this is done, the Christmas housecleaning begins in earnest… Not that you don’t houseclean every week, but this time you tidy up more, you de-clutter, you re-organize things… Then Christmas comes along! You are told to keep the meal serving simple. Serve your meal buffet-style or consider a potluck. Okay! It’s all fine but what about holiday indigestion? As domestic goddess, Nigella Lawson calls it “the combustible combination”. There’s the Scrooge relative who expects to receive fine gifts but doesn’t want to spend any money on giving, the chatterbox who simply won’t shut up because he or she finally has an audience, the classic narcissist who wants to impress everyone, the martyr who chooses Christmastime to pour out all the woes of his or her world, the drunk who gets obnoxious, the doom and gloom conversationalist who wants to make sure you know 2012 will usher in the end of the world as we know it, the hostile one who is looking to vent his or her anger on someone, the guest who brings his pajamas along and refuses to leave when the party’s over… NO! I’m not exaggerating! If you haven’t lived through these situations at one time in your life, you have been truly blessed! And what about today’s societal problems like reconstituted families who have to juggle very complicated schedules with three or four sets of in-laws and an uncooperative ex-partner? What about people who are estranged from their families or a close relative, child or parent? Where do you find advice for those situations? Now, don’t think I’m being negative this year! Not the least, because this reminds me of the fable of the porcupine. Here is the story: During the coldest winter ever, many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines decided to group together in order to survive. Although they were protected this way, their quills wounded their closest companions so they decided to distance themselves again and began to die, alone and frozen. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by their close relationships because the most important part was the heat that came from the others. Thus, they were able to survive. The moral of this story: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the one that forms when individuals learn to live with the imperfections and admire the good qualities of others. So in the end, we must learn to live with people’s imperfections and life’s disappointments! As Roslyn Franken, an Ottawa-based motivational speaker and weight loss coach advises, one must learn to minimize the stress of the holidays by getting organized, reaching out for help with Christmas chores and letting go of our need for perfection. As Roslyn says, “The biggest gift you can give yourself this holiday season is the gift of kindness.” Start new family traditions and get rid of the ones that no longer suit your lifestyle or situation. And if you are at a point in your life where you are giving more than receiving, indulge in a special treat: a piece of jewelry, a special outing, flowers, a concert… I bought a gorgeous “ice pink” poinsettia on Tuesday. It now graces the island in my kitchen. I also bought eggnog and will have a first glass to your health tonight. This week, there are four different Christmas get-togethers... This weekend, my Christmas tree will likely go up. And I drop in and get my daily dose of hugs and kisses from the clan every other day. Today, I shared some fun time with Nathan and Spencer, the youngest of my five grandkids. So be good to yourself and be reminded that the true spirit of Christmas is not commercial, it’s not competitive… It’s all about love and bonding like the porcupines in the fable. Lots of love! Keep warm, body and soul! (You can contact Alberte through her web site.) Back to top |
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